The Highlight Reel

I've seen many blog posts recently about how we mamas need to be careful about how closely we pay attention to all of the Facebook statuses, Twitter feeds, and Instagram posts we follow. It is so easy to get caught up in comparing your "negatives" to others' "highlight reel". I mean, let's be real. Very few people are posting pictures on Instagram of their toddler laying in the floor at Target throwing a fit to buy a new princess dress, or of their laundry that has overflowed out of the hamper because they've been too busy with said toddler to actually move the dirty clothes to the washer, let alone finish a wash cycle and put them away. No one posts pictures of crying babies waking at all hours of the night, or kids being talked to, lectured, spanked, put into time-out, for being disrespectful. Again. We don't see that the same mama who posted her beautiful baby eating breakfast at a pristine table with vintage linens has a mess of toys and mis-matched socks strewn all over her living room, and another child running around the room in his underwear refusing to get dressed.

But we do see the highlight reel. And yes, it is very important to keep a good perspective while looking at all of these posts and notes from friends and online acquaintances. Don't think they aren't having a day just like yours, because with little ones in the house, unless they have a team of nannies, they most likely are. There is food being refused by picky eaters, there are tantrums being thrown, arms being crossed, and kids being sent to their rooms.

However...

There is also laughter. Dancing and pretending to push the baby stroller to the park, purse-in-hand, as if it's the most important thing in life (and one might argue - it is). There are peaceful moments, even if they only seem to come when the 3-year-old's favorite cartoon is on. There are little cuddles, and hugs and kisses for boo-boo's. There are unprompted "I love you mama"'s. Time spent listening to little ones learn how to pray. Meals during which your baby just wants to be held, and you have to eat a cold meal once again.

I'd like to argue that you won't remember the cold meal, but you will remember and relish the baby-holding.

I've recently gotten into the habit of scrolling through my iPhone's camera roll before I fall asleep at night. I take pictures of my kids most days, and it's just fun to do a little re-cap before I go to sleep. I'm learning that this is cultivating such gratefulness in me. Even in the photos of screaming children I've sent to my husband at work. (Yes. Real life. I've done this. "Help, he won't stop crying. See?")

It's my highlight reel. It's real life. It's blurry smiles and perfectly posed Instagram posts, but every single picture is evidence of goodness and grace God has poured into my life that day. Time with my kids. Time with my husband. Screenshots of texts between friends and siblings. Things I want to hold on to from my "normal" days during this season.

What if we really chose to view our days as highlight reels? We will in a few years. My babies are still so little, and we hope to add to our family, but I know one day, we will have grown-up babies, and I will long for days that I could pull them into my lap and love on them, even in a dirty, toy-filled living room. The highlight reels are what we will remember. Not the craziness. Not the tantrums (well, maybe some), not the fight to eat just two bites of peas. We'll remember the cuddles. The kisses goodnight. The pajama parties before bed. The highlights.

Whatever season of life you are in, strive to see in it the things you will miss 5 years from now, 10 years from now. Practice hindsight in the present. Cultivate thankfulness for God's graces in your life today.

Hot Dogs for Breakfast

I gave my daughter a hot dog for breakfast this morning.

Why? Because she has successfully worn me down. Meal times have become such a battle lately, and this morning, I just didn't have the energy to fight. (Maybe because my precious boy was up at 4:07 this morning? Could be.)

I feel like I've tried everything. As a baby, Allie was a wonderful eater. Her favorite foods were zucchini, strawberries, and carrots. As a very picky eater myself, this thrilled me. I just knew she wouldn't struggle with the same picky eating habits I have. I was wrong - at least for now. That's what I keep telling myself: She'll outgrow this; It's just a phase; She's only 2. Oh, I hope.

My once-wonderful eater now only approves of the following foods:

• Hot Dogs (We give her "turkey dogs", at least.)
• Chips
• Chicken Strips
• Grilled Chicken (Occasionally)
• Strawberries (These are slowly becoming more difficult to get her to eat.)
• Peaches (Only if Daddy is eating them, too.)
• Applesauce (But don't presume that means she'll eat apples.)
• Scrambled Eggs
• Yogurt
• Hershey's Kisses
• M&M's
• Dehydrated fruit
• Granola
• and of course, the childhood staple, Goldfish.

Didn't see any vegetables in there? That's because there aren't any. Not a single one. And we've tried. We've made them into silly faces on her plate. We've offered for her to put Ketchup on them. We've tried to bribe her to eat "just two more bites" and then she can have dessert. We've battled it out at the table for up to an hour as she sat crying, arms crossed, tears flowing, refusing to take a bite.

She. Is. STUBBORN.

It's so exhausting, but we don't want to give in to her daily demands for her favorites. 

I am learning a lot through this process, though. When these meal-time battles first began, I saw them as a battle of wills. I was right, she was wrong, and she just needed to obey and move on. (And yes, as a parent, sometimes that's the case.) I'm learning, though, that that demanding, staunch style of parenting may not be what works best for my girl. She is already such a girl. She needs to talk through things. To understand the "why"behind the rules. Yes, at times, that means she does her best to reason her way out of things, too. I'm learning that most times, it is good to wait it out. To bend and break that stubbornness I see in her, and just wait on her obedience. I'm also learning that me being "right" or "winning" isn't the end-all. And that sometimes, it's okay to give her some grace, and not force her to eat that last bite of green beans. It's a balance. A rhythm.

That said...HELP! Does anyone have any suggestions or words of wisdom on the subject? I'd love to hear them!

She's Only 2

My daughter is 2. My daughter is 2. My daughter is 2.

I've had to repeat this to myself a lot lately. It seems that, as a mama, it's very easy to view her as older than she is now that there's a newborn in the house. Yet...my daughter is still 2.

She is SO smart. Seriously. She's not even 2 1/2 yet, and she counts to 12, knows her entire alphabet, and even understands concepts like one thing being "better" than another. I mean, I know I'm biased, but she's a smart little cookie! This makes it really easy to forget that she's 2. 

We have just begun to venture out during the week as a little threesome, and it's gone pretty well. I haven't attempted the grocery store yet, but I'm sure I'll have to before too long. Last week, the 3 of us (Me, Allie, and Wyatt) decided to go up the block to the recently-opened Spray Park. Allie had {once again} taken a pretty short nap, and I had some afternoon time to kill before Adam would get home. She'd been asking to go back to the "Dripping Park" all day. It took about a half hour to get everything ready: swimsuit on, baby's diaper changed, toddler to the potty, snacks packed, sunscreen applied, baby's diaper changed again, drinks packed, toddler in the car to climb into her car seat, baby buckled in (and screaming), toddler buckled in, toddler's sunglasses lost, toddler's sunglasses found, towel and bag in the car...fewf. THEN, we were on our way. {Don't judge - I did drive to the Spray Park. I just don't want to get stuck walking the 15 minute walk home with a screaming baby at this point. He's only 5 weeks old. Gimme a break.}

When we got there, the weather was perfect. I found a spot in the shade for Wyatt and myself, and that's the first time she said it. "I want to go home." WHAT?! After all that?! And after she asked a zillion times to go to the "Dripping Park"?! "No, Allie, go play in the water. Look how fun it is!"

"No, Mommy. I want to go hoooooome!"

Hmm...how can I make her go play in the water? I'll go with her.

"No, Mommy! I no want to! I want to go hoooome!" This time, she was getting louder, and borderline crying.

Here's where the communication breakdown happened. She continued to get more and more upset. I told her that if she didn't calm down and go play, that we would just go home. She ran around in one little sprinkler for about a minute, and then came back and whined some more. I {with great frustration} put everything back in the bag, dried her off, got both kids back into their seats in the car, and took her home. 

The entire way home, she kept saying things like, "Yaaaay! Thank you for taking me home. We get to go home now!" I told her we wouldn't be going back to the Splash Park for awhile. I intended this as bad news, but for her, it was just what she wanted to hear. This made me even more frustrated! Why didn't she get it!? Why didn't she see all of the time and energy that it took for me to take her to do something so fun and special? Because she's only 2. No amount of frustration or reasoning with her was going to change that.

I brought her home, turned on a princess movie, and we just relaxed until daddy got home. Sometimes, there's just not much I can do in the way of convincing and explaining...because she's only 2.

One Week

One week ago yesterday, we welcomed our perfect little baby boy, Wyatt Thomas. It has been a sleep-deprived whirlwind, but everything is going wonderfully!

7 lbs, 4 oz and 19.25 inches long

Born at 2:49 p.m.

Allie picked out this little blue puppy for Wyatt weeks ago, and couldn't wait to give it to him.
She wouldn't leave the hospital until it was tucked in his bassinet with him.

Yes, we have a blonde baby boy. And I love it. A lot.

Day 2 in the hospital with my boy.

Snuggle Bug.

Coming home as a family of 4!

We are so blessed, and Allie is LOVING her new role as Wyatt's big sister.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Doing Less

I follow a beautiful, creative mama named Abby over at My Yellow Sandbox. Her post today was so encouraging (and challenging) to me that I decided to repost it here. I hope it's an encouragement to you, too!

"Mothers who know, do less.  They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally.  They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home.  Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world's goods in order to spend more time with their children - more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying.  These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all.  Their goal is to prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire world."- Julie B. Beck (click here for entire talk)

My adorable girl in her new pink "fwimsuit".

I want to be the kind of mother who does less.  All our kids really need and want from us is our time.  They need our time and attention.  And after all, if we're not giving it to them... who and what is? I am probably the worst offender of not giving my children my time.  I'm a stay at home mom.  So I'm with my kids ALL day.  And because of that, it's hard for me to actually sit down and just play with them.  If Boston is happy playing by himself I'm cleaning or doing laundry.  I'm working on crafts, talking on the phone and blah blah blah.  A million things.  I find myself telling Boston "I'll be there in just a second" way too often.   But I stay at home so I can spend time with my kids.  So I can teach them and be with them.  Am I taking advantage of that blessing?  Or am I squandering the hours away with meaningless tasks?

I'm probably doing a little bit of both.  And I am challenging myself and all you other mommas to spend just a little bit more time with your kids.  Time away from the TV, from phones, homework, visiting neighbors and to-do lists.  No regrets.

Let's see if we can be a little more like the mother who does less!

What to Do with 2

Recently, I spent Allie's nap time blog-hopping. I came across this beautiful post at the Roberson Family's blog, and it encouraged me in a way I didn't know I even needed.


I knew I had fears and concerns about what life would be like when we became a family of 4 in just a few weeks. This just put lots of them into words. So grateful that lots of other mama's go through the same thought processes and make it through!


She wrote about 10 things she wished she'd been told as she was welcoming Baby #2 into her family.

(via Pinterest)

1.  Yes, no matter how much you love #1, you will love #2 equally.  But maybe not right at first in the same way.  Remember when #1 was born and you loved them right away?  That love has evolved into the kind where you know them inside and out.  You have to get to know #2, but you'll get there.  You'll still love them right away and you won't even realize when it changes to the inside out kind.  I promise.

2.  You haven't destroyed your relationship with #1 by bringing in #2.  You've strengthened it.  And it's okay that they no longer get 100% of your attention during the day, they're going to be better people because of it.  I promise.

3.  By making them the older sibling, you haven't forced them to grow up before they're ready.  They're still the same kid you had before #2.  I promise.

4.  It's okay to put #2 down and snuggle up with #1 in the hospital bed, and when they'd rather play with with whatever cool medical stuff they can find in the hospital room, it doesn't mean they're taking anything out on you.  I promise.  

5.  You're going to have a split second when you're going to wonder about #2 and if they'll be as great as #1.  They will be.  I promise.  

6.  When you're feeding #2 and #1 does something terrible, they're not trying to tell you you're a bad parent.  They're testing your boundaries.  This might sound totally rational now, but the thought will cross your mind. You're a great parent.  I promise.  

7.  There will come times when you'll have to choose between the two and #1 will get the short end of the stick.  It's okay.  You can make it up to them later.  They won't hold it against you, and they'll still turn into good people.  I promise.  

8.  It's okay to call your friends and freak out a little.  Call one that already has two kids.  She understands.  I promise.  

9.  Trust your "Mommy Sense".  You know what you're doing this time around.  I promise.

10.  Everything's going to be fine.  There's a happy ending.  You'll sleep again someday.  I promise. 

...There's more thoughts to add to this post, but I'll split it up, because this one's already a bit long with the list. :) 

Mother's Day Lunch

Adam and I are blessed in that both of our moms aren't sticklers for celebrating Mother's Day on the day of the event. They want me to be able to enjoy Mother's Day with my sweet little Allie, and I appreciate that more than they know.

Last Saturday, (Mother's Day eve, if you will), was cray-zee around the Rieger house. Adam had made plans to get an upgraded air conditioner installed in the house. The installation guy was supposed to be here between 8-9, and didn't show up until around noon. So. Frustrating. Because of that, Adam wasn't able to go to lunch with us.

My mom, Memaw, Aunt Carolyn, Blake, and I all met at at Joe T.'s to celebrate all of the moms. It was such a gorgeous day! We were able to beat the crowds, get a table outside, and my mom even fed Allie so that I could enjoy my lunch! (Who am I kidding, she loved feeding her.) It was such a sweet time. A couple of weekends ago, my mom stayed with Allie Joy so that Adam and I could spend an evening away for the first time since before Allie was born. While we were gone, she and Allie did a special project for me for mother's day. They made me a beautiful stepping-stone with Allie's little footprint in it! So cute! I love it! I haven't snapped a picture of it yet, but it's outside near the front porch, and it brings a smile to my face every time I see it.

Mom, Allie, and Me after Mother's Day lunch

One of my favorite new pictures! Love my family!

Allie, Blake, and Me

Standing between two of my favorite ladies!

Sitting on Grammie's lap for lunch.

Alliebean and Uncle Blake!

Mother's Day

Since I was old enough to say "baby", I couldn't wait to have my own. Motherhood is something that has made me - continually - feel so blessed and humbled by the good, gracious God I serve. I still cannot believe that God saw fit to give me the ultimate dreams and desires  HE placed in my heart from such a young age. The fact that I get to be a stay-at-home-mama to my precious Allie, to care for my husband and my home day in and day out, is quite literally a dream come true for me. I am blessed beyond words.

15 Months

I ask this every month (really, every day), but seriously, "How did we get here?!" How am I already the mommy to a 15-month-old?! Allie has changed in SO many ways over the past month. We have really watched her turn from a baby into an active, busy, inquisitive, opinionated toddler. Here are just a few of the things she's doing these days.

• Going outside. Allie stinkin' LOVES being outside. This doesn't bode well for her mama, who is a tried and true "inside girl". It is really nice to be able to take her out in the afternoons, though, and let her roam the yard for awhile.

• Carefully walking in and out of the back sliding door. She's just mastered climbing over the raised door frame, and loves to do it over and over again.

• Baby Einstein DVD's. She is specifically mesmerized by "Baby McDonald", the animal video, and "Baby DaVinci", which is all about facial features and body parts. She loves the part when they sing, "Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes", and loves to point to her shoulders and toes. I love to hear her sweet, high-pitched voice say, "shuh-durs?"
• She now knows where eyes, ears, nose, teeth, hands, and feet are.
• She gets super pumped when we sing "Happy and You Know It", and especially loves to "stomp her feet".
• Her favorite gadget is still the remote control. I keep finding things on the DVR that she's recorded...
• Our technologically savvy girl has already figured out how to unlock our iPhones. She can also double-click them to make them play music quicker than I can. What in the world, I feel old.
• Instead of the "little blankie", she now sleeps with her full-sized blankie. I will be making a replacement blankie soon, so that we are never without it! (And, so that we can wash the current blankie without the little drama queen throwing a tantrum.)
• Words She's Saying:
• "Wah-foo" - waffle
• "Eye-sis" - Eisley's (One of your sweet little friends left her hair bow here the other day, and Allie would walk by and point to it, saying "Eye-sis bow" a zillion times a day.
• "No"
• "Ah-sis" - What's this?
• Animal Sounds - "Ba-ba" - sheep; "Wooh-wooh" - dog; A very short "moo" - cow; "chi-chi" - bird; an occasional "doodle-doo" - rooster
• "Bye-Bye" (always accompanied by a wave)
• "Ah-Cheer" - high chair

"I don't know!"

• Things she can identify/point to:
• Eyes
• Nose
• Mouth
• Teeth
• Ears
• Hair
• Toes
• Feet
• Tummy
• Belly Button (sometimes)
• Shoulders (thanks to 'Head, Shoulders, Knees, & Toes')
• Hands
• Dogs
• Birds
• Airplanes
• The moon
• Various specific toys (her baby, baby stroller, blocks, piano, ball, books, etc.)
• Signs/Cute Ways She Communicates:
• Holding her hands up to her face, shrugging her shoulders means "I don't know" or "where did it go"?
• Clapping her hands means "I want that" or "More, please"
• She loves to blow kisses. Big, open-mouthed, open-handed kisses.
• One of my faves: she waves to the dogs about a thousand times a day.
• If Adam or I are laying on the couch, and she spots bare feet on the sofa, she grabs the bare feet, smells them, and makes a squished up face, showing how stinky the feet are. Too funny!
• I was so excited, a few weeks ago, that Allie finally made the connection that her Uncle Blake was singing on stage during Sunday morning worship. She kept pointing to the screens when he would come on. Now, she always looks for him, which I love. :)
• Whenever she falls, bumps her head, or hurts herself, she takes Adam and I to the scene of the crime, and points to whatever it was that hurt her. I'm loving that she's able to communicate these things now!
• If she even hears the word flower, she immediately wrinkles up her cute little nose, and begins to sniff. She loves to smell the flowers. :)
• Our smart girl helps mommy by putting everyone's socks away on laundry day. I open the drawers, l put all of the socks in a pile next to the drawer, and she puts all of the socks away!
• Allie waves all the time. Everywhere we are, at anyone and everyone we see. If she leaves the room and walks back in, she waves at me. Too stinkin' adorable.

Allie Joy is our little "observer". Any time she finds herself in a new or different situation, she takes a good while to warm up, taking everything in, and sizing everyone up. I love this about her. It makes her sound cautious, but unfortunately for this mama, I don't think she's going to take after me in the caution department. At 15 months old, she's already had her first trip to the E.R. after diving off of the kitchen counter (where she was firmly planted in her Bumbo chair at 9 months old) on to the hard tile, head first. (Read more about Allie's First Emergency.) Just a few weeks ago, she took another dive. This time, she fearlessly leaned over the edge of her changing table, face first, and was planted on the floor before I could catch her. She's a quick one! A "first bloody nose" later, she was just fine, and wanted to go play outside and blow bubbles. 

Daddy & Allie - Can you tell it's early in the morning by their
cute, sleepy eyes?

One of my favorite things about this little toddling girl is how much she's fallen in love with her daddy. Can I blame her? She, somehow, knows when 4:45 rolls around, and it's time for Dada to be home. Sometimes, we wait on the front porch to see his truck drive up. As soon as she sees it coming down the street, she points, puts on her biggest grin, and says, "Dada!" She then waves, waves, and waves, until he makes it up the driveway and into the garage. Occasionally, he stops in the driveway, puts her in his lap, and lets her help him "drive" into the garage the last few feet. Honestly, I don't think she'd care what they were doing at that moment, because she's just so excited to have Daddy home. I love watching their relationship grow and change. Her Daddy loves her more than she knows, and is so ready to show her off whenever the opportunity arises. He's so obviously proud of her, and I know she knows that.

Mommy & Alliebean

I love my girl so much, and I can't believe how fast she's growing! This is such a fun season, and I have never, ever felt so blessed. (Aaaaand, I apologize for the extreme wordiness of this post!)

Ah-Sis?

At church, we've been going through a book together. (The Relationship Principles of Jesus, by Tom Holladay) Everyone is reading the daily devotionals, and learning, together, about Jesus's interaction with others, and how He did relationships while He was here on earth. (By "everyone", I mean "everyone but me is staying on track with this". I've been sick, Allie has been sick, and I am currently feeling caught-up on my readings, because I'm *only* 3 days behind. Sigh.)

Last week, one day's focus was on prayer. Now, I've been a believer for 20+ years, so I've heard/read a lot about prayer in that time. Increasing the time I spend in prayer, especially for my family, is one of my goals for 2011. (Ok, I said it out loud now, so I've created some accountability, right?)

A few things I read, last week, on prayer:

• Jesus taught that our job is to pray with confidence.
• God is answering many of your prayers in ways you can't yet see --in ways you may not see until you get to Heaven. To acknowledge this doesn't provide an excuse; it recognizes our limitations and expresses confidence in God's perfect plan and power.
• Pray until one of two things happens: God changes the situation, or God changes you.
• Your persistence is instead an indicator of your desire and your dependence on God. Unless you truly depend on God, you will not persist in the conversation.

That last one has to be my very favorite. As the mommy of *gulp* a toddler, I am learning that repetition is the name of the game. If Allie loves to do something once, she loves to do it over and over and over again. She loves the same Baby Einstein video over and over, the same one baby doll to play with, the same 'hang me upside down and tickle me' game over and over, and thanks to her picky mama, the same foods all the time. Sometimes, let's be honest, it's just annoying. I don't want to see the episode of Special Agent Oso I've already seen 50 bazillion times before today, but she is just as excited about it now as the first time she saw it. The most annoying thing would have to be "ah-sis" (what's this). At only 13.5 months old, Allie already points at seemingly everything in her little world and asks, with an adorably inquisitive look on her face, "ah-sis?" The thing about it is, she will point to the same object 10, 20, 50 times in a row, and ask "ah-sis" over and over and over. My logical brain says that she's trying to learn the words, and learn how I'm saying them by listening to them repetitiously. My emotional self wants to just say, "I said it's this!!!" 

So back to the quote, "Your persistence is instead an indicator of your desire and your dependence on God. Unless you truly depend on God, you will not persist in the conversation." Sometimes I feel like I've said the same prayers a million times. Like I've asked God for the same protection, provision, healing, and grace as many times as Allie has asked me "ah-sis". At times, I start to pray something, and stop myself, because I think, "That's the same thing I asked for yesterday, and the day before that, and the month before that..." I love that I'm finally learning that this asking over and over is not an annoyance to my generous God. Instead, it is a sign that I'm depending solely on Him to provide what I'm asking for.

Schedule-Obsessed

...that's me. I'm schedule-obsessed. I love a good schedule. And by "good", I mean "a manageable, realistic schedule I can actually stick to". Currently, on my fridge, I have 3 weeks of planned meals printed nicely (in pretty fonts, too), and a brand new cleaning calendar. In my work-in-progress Home Management Notebook, I have schedules for Allie's day, my day, our week, my Freckled Pink work, and more. Eventually, I'll hopefully have everything down to such a great rhythm, I won't have to be working on updating these schedules so often.

When Allie was born, I knew I had to get her on a good schedule and routine to help her sleep patterns, eating habits, and waking patterns. As you may have seen in my 'Naptime: My Nemesis' post, I became a little too obsessed with these routines, and was getting extremely discouraged when my poor baby wasn't following the schedule in place. God has taught me, though I've pushed back every step of the way, that I am not in control. Making a schedule, setting a routine - these things do not define the events that will actually take place in my days. That's up to God.

Anyway, I've asked for help from Facebook friends lately in making a new cleaning schedule. They sent lots of good advice, and I've taken it all into account in making my own, new schedule. (You can click the image to see a larger version.)

This is what I came up with. It is color-coded to tell me, each day, what tasks I need to do. These tasks are divided into 4 categories: Weekly Cleaning, Bi-Weekly Cleaning, Monthly Cleaning, and Quarterly Cleaning.

Using iCal, I was able to create a weekly cleaning list that will recur weekly, a bi-weekly list of tasks that will automatically recur every other week, and so on. I'm so excited about it! There are a few things that didn't make the list (like daily tasks of dishes, straightening Allie's toys, making beds, cleaning the kitchen table, etc.).  I didn't include those, because to me, they are implied. I love having just 2-3 things on my list for each day, so that I can spend time playing with Allie Joy and working on Freckled Pink orders and designs! This list lets me know that everything has been/will be done within a manageable time frame, so that there's (hopefully) never a time when I look up at the bathroom mirror and think, "When was the last time I cleaned all of these toothpaste splatters off this window? Looks like it's been months."

I have only been using this system for about a week. Truth be told, this week is pretty crazy since we are having a deep freeze in DFW, and we are stuck home. You'd think that would make it easier to stay on top of this, but with Adam here, the last thing I want to do is check things off of my list! Hopefully I can catch up once I'm feeling a little better, and these rolling blackouts are over.

Links I found helpful in creating a schedule that works for me:

• Just Mommies Home Organization
• Fly Lady

Nap Time: My Nemesis

Since Allie was tiny, she has struggled with taking consistent, good naps. By "good", I mean "an hour or more". Being a 'Baby Wise' mom, and someone who thrives on predictability, routine, and schedules, this has been a real challenge for me!

I have so many friends with babies around Allie's age who tell me, "Oh, my child takes two two-hour naps every day, I can hardly wake them," or at the least, "Just drop the morning nap, and she'll sleep for hours in the afternoon. Mine does!"I have read books, sought advice, rocked her, read to her, let her cry it out, let her sleep in my chest in the rocker, and she still just sticks to her own personal nap schedule. She prefers about 20-30 minutes in the morning, and, if I'm lucky, 45 minutes or MAYBE an hour in the afternoon.

As a stay-at-home-mom/work-at-home-mom, this makes it very challenging for me to accomplish the things I need to during the day. Not to mention the fact that it is exhausting!

I regret saying that I have only recently started praying through this frustration I have with Allie's nap schedule, or lack thereof. I want to learn whatever it is God is trying to teach me through this, and I don't think I've caught a glimpse of the lesson yet. I crave just a few minutes of solitude and rest during my days that are otherwise spent cleaning up sticky fruit juice off of the high-chair (and floor), trying to design monograms while Allie pushes the computer buttons to "help" me, rotating loads of laundry, printing shipping labels, packaging monograms, reading '1, 2, 3, Count With Me' a dozen times in a row,  snuggling Allie Joy, cutting up every meal into tiny, 1-year-old bites, giving Allie a bath because she rubbed chicken and fruit in her hair - again, and picking up leaky sippy cups from every room in the house. Please don't misunderstand me. I am unbelievably, amazingly blessed to get to spend my days in my home with Allie. It truly is living out a dream I've had since I was a little girl. I love every little snuggle, watching cartoons with her, teaching her to blow kisses, answering every little "what's that" she asks, and getting to be the one to comfort her whenever she's upset. I do not take it for granted, I am grateful every day to have the title of 'Mom', and pray I will always be able to be home with whatever children God entrusts to us. That said, 'living the dream' of being at home, is not an easy job. It is full to overflowing with responsibilities.

These aren't responsibilities I take lightly, either. I want to be "that mom". The one who really does have it all together. Dishes done. Laundry put away. Prayers said for each family member, and time spent in the Word. Floors swept (and steam-mopped). A child who naps. I know this woman doesn't really exist, but she does in my dreams and aspirations! :) I am learning, daily, that I have to constantly surrender my 'post' to God. I want to stand strong in the post He has placed me in, and thrive in it. And it looks like I'm going to have to do that while learning how to manage my time and energy with a child who is awake for most of the day at only a year old. That is the task before me, and I want to grow, learn, and draw closer to God through it. Ultimately, if that's the greatest struggle in my everyday walk as a mama, I'm a blessed girl!

So, here's to a new season - not just standing strong in my post, but embracing this season of my life that I know I'll, one day, long to have back. 

"Goodness Gracious"

I was given a devotional book for Christmas this year. It's not your run-of-the-mill devotional, either. It's HILARIOUS. It keeps my attention whether I'm reading at 5:50 a.m. before I go to the gym, or at 10:45 p.m. before I go to bed. I love it, and I love the amazing little truths it's reinforcing in my life as a wife, mom, and a child of God. It's called "Out of the Spin Cycle", and it's by Jen Hatmaker. I'm only on the 7th or 8th little 2-page devotional, but I am already ready to go to LifeWay and buy every book this girl has ever written. Love it!

I have been meditating on one entry that I started reading about 3 days ago. I haven't been able to move on to what's next, because this one hit me in a new and fresh way (PTL). I just keep going back each day and re-reading it, and I will continue to, because it's a truth that's important for every day of my life. I wanted to share it, especially with my young mommy friends, because it has encouraged me so deeply, and given me a new desire to spend time with the God who loves me so much. It will seem a little long typed out, but it's only 2 pages in the book, so please take the time to read and be encouraged! :)

"Scanning my bookshelves, I see about a billion books on parenting. I read eight books on babies before I ever gave birth to one. I've taken Lamaze classes, Baby Wise classes (don't start), and parenting classes. I've joined discussion groups on raising tweens and facilitated book studies on balanced motherhood. I've downloaded helpful sermons and read countless websites. I've made lists and plans on how to manage summer/chores/homework/discipline/sleepovers/house rules.
   And then there is real motherhood, which knocks out half of this stuff.
   Because sometimes, despite your careful strategizing and planning and reading and organizing, your two-year-old takes his diaper off in the middle of Target and runs up the cereal aisle while you scream at him like a mental patient. And sometimes, after you've planned the perfect playdate, your daughter bites your new friend's baby and flushes her phone down the toilet.
   And sometimes, when your precious firstborn son - the one you read all the baby books for and raised lovingly for ten years - opens a fresh, sassy mouth to you when you are already idling high, you accidentally tell him to get a shovel, go in the backyard, and dig his own grave. This, I don't have to tell you, is behavior Ted Tripp would frown upon in Shepherding a Child's Heart.
   Not surprisingly, when I made that shockingly horrible statement to my son, I was exhausted, stretched thin, out of the Word, and in a prayer slump. I was running on spiritual fumes. My only intake was whiny children, mountains of laundry, a Suite Life of Zack and Cody marathon, and four hundred thousand pieces of correspondence from Elm Grove Elementary to attend to.
   There is a simple explanation according to Jesus:

For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. The good man brings good

things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of 

the evil stored up in him.     Matthew 12:34-35

   Motherhood is like a pitcher with a hole in the bottom: a constant drain on our energy, patience, and tolerance. Every mother who is telling the truth would attest to that. Add something like a child with autism, single motherhood, a financial crisis, or a crumbling marriage, and it's a wonder we have anything left to give.

   Our only hope to speak with kindness, to lead with patience, and not to threaten our children with homicide is to ensure our spiritual reserves are not bone dry.. Moms are the middle of the flow chart; the arrows of exertion flow constantly out from us, but when no arrows of strength, grace, and peace are flowing in, the whole mechanism is in danger.

   Goodness in equals goodness out.

   No goodness in equals no goodness out.

   This is a simple truth recognized by Jesus and every other parenting expert, but one most moms fail to take seriously. We're too busy for the Word. We're too tired to pray. We have too much going on to join a small group. Under the banner of selflessness, we neglect our own spiritual health and sabotage the very service we want to render.

   When God's word is flowing through my life, my baby can spill his fourth drink of the day, and I can say, "It's just a drink." When I'm spiritually dry, I could literally lie on the soggy floor and bawl over it. When Jesus has spoken peace into my life, I'm able to discipline consistently when my toddler pitches her third tantrum of the morning. If my pitcher is empty, I might lock myself in the bathroom and scream at the top of my lungs.

   Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.

   If nothing good is stored up, where are we possibly going to draw patience? Grace? Longsuffering? Young motherhood is too demanding to attempt without a deep connection to Christ. I literally don't know how women do it without Him.

   No, you don't have to spend an hour a day in the Word.

   No, it's not necessary to look up Greek definitions and create outlines.

   No, you don't need to build a prayer shrine with candles and worship music.

   But a simple space at the beginning of your day before anyone needs to be attended to in any way, a moment just for you and God and His beautiful Word - this is essential. This is where goodness is stored up for the day, and you'll need it; it's perishable. This is when Jesus reminds you, "You can do this. I'm right here." It's how you become centered and remember that spilled drinks and tantrums are a blip on the timeline of your life. It's when God can whisper, "I have all you need."

  Goodness in, goodness out.

   Take care of the first, and the second is covered.

My Ministry

I have struggled much lately to discover the position(s) of ministry God has for me during this season of my life. I recently read a friend's quote saying, "Don't sacrifice your family on the altar of ministry". There are so many things I'd love to be a part of: women's Bible studies, student events, VBS, one-on-one discipleship, and the list goes on. All of those are good things, but are they BEST during this season of my life? It isn't my desire to simply do what's "good", but what's "best"! 1 Corinthians 10:23 says, "All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify."I want the things I do to be profitable, to edify. I want my daily life to be pleasing to God, a sweet aroma to Him.

As I've mulled over that quote for days on end, I wondered...wouldn't it be just as easy to sacrifice ministry on the altar of your family?

After much scripture-searching and prayer, God has been faithful to affirm, over and over, that my place of ministry IS my family. This was a hard realization for me, at first. With Allie being so little, it's difficult for me to see tangible ways I am ministering to her outside of meeting her basic needs. Yes, I read her "baby" Bible stories, play and sing songs of God's love over her, pray with her, and do my very best to empty myself out so that God can love her to His fullest capacity through me. In the day-to-day, though, those things don't necessarily make me feel like I'm really making a difference. They just seem like the obvious choices.

I so desperately want God to enable me to be the wife and mommy HE desires me to be. I think this past couple of weeks of sifting through scriptures, learning that "family" and "ministry" aren't two separate things, is pushing me forward in the right direction.

Though others can't see my ministry to my family day in and day out, that doesn't discount it. That ministry isn't any less valuable just because it's not in the spotlight.

I am so blessed to have so many examples of Godly wives and moms around me to look to as examples, and continue to learn from!