Hebrews 12:11

It's around 1:00 on Thursday afternoon. At our house, that means it's nap time. From {pretty much} the day she left the womb, Allie has protested sleeping during the day. {I realize what a blessing and gift it is that she has slept through the night since she was 5 months old, and doesn't seem to ever have issues with that. I do not take it for granted, and I *love* my night time sleep.} That said, a day in which a 6-month old, 1-year-old, or now 18-month old does not take a nap is a very looooooong day for mama. (Read more about my nap time battles in this previous post.)

As I sit and type, I can hear my little one crying in her crib across the house. It's one of those awful "mommy situations". Like dropping them off in their nursery class when they kick and scream and don't want to go, but you know they have to. Like giving them a spanking when they're hugging and kissing and "I'm sorry-ing" to try to get out of it. Like putting them in time-out when you really want to keep playing with them and hearing their cute little giggles. Letting Allie cry at nap time has worked well for us, and she usually falls asleep fairly quickly. {Staying asleep - that's another story.}

When I put her down today, after reading a few books, singing, and rocking with her, she immediately began to cry. Let me tell you - this kid can go from no tears to a full-on sob within a matter of milliseconds. She's good. So she started to cry. Only this time, she didn't just cry. She reached up for me and cried, "Mama!" Oh. My. Goodness. How am I supposed to ignore that?! Hard and heart-breaking as it was, I walked away, and closed the door behind me, nearly welling up with tears myself.

I suddenly pictured God, my Abba, my daddy, going through that same scenario with me.

You see, I've been going through a season of some serious impatience in my life. There are lots of big things around the corner for my little family, and I'm tired of knowing they're "around the corner". I'm ready to be at the corner, or just whatever it takes for these changes and blessings to take place in our lives! I don't want to wait on God's timing. I don't want to be patient. I don't want to pray "Your will, not mine".

So, leaving Allie's room, I pictured the Lord just putting me into that crib. A waiting room of sorts. I can't get out until he picks me up and lets me out. I just have to sit there. Maybe I'm supposed to rest. To sleep. To know that being right there is right where He placed me, and He knows far better than I do. Maybe He knows that I will enter into this new season much healthier and more joyful if I have this time of rest first. The same way that I know the rest of Allie's day will go far smoother if she will take time out to sleep before jumping back into her afternoon of spreading endless toys all over the house.

Why is it so difficult for me to remember this little truth? That He knows better. That He is good, and He is for me, and He has me in this season of waiting for a reason. A reason I may not see, but a good reason none the less.

Hebrews 12:11

  All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; 

yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it 

yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

Though I feel, now, as if blessings are being withheld, I trust that God is bringing me into a season which will "yield the peaceful fruit of righteousness".

{Baby girl is still crying, standing in her crib...He knows better. He knows better. He knows better...}