I am continually learning (and re-learning) to submit my emotions to God in these last weeks of my pregnancy. If I thought it was impossible to become more emotional than I already was...I was wrong! My tender-hearted husband puts up with me graciously, whether I'm crying over a broken teapot (which I dropped last night, and he promptly super-glued back together to halt my tears), or crying over the seemingly zillion phone calls I get each day just to "check in and make sure I'm not in labor yet." No, I'm not. I have to constantly remind myself that Allie's due date is still two full weeks away! She's not finished yet. Though we've thought she'd be an early arrival all this time, that doesn't have anything to do with the reality of God's time table for her birth, and He always knows best.
I was reminded this morning, laying in bed and praying for little Allie, that this timing is what my good, gracious, loving God, in His great mercy, has chosen for us. It isn't some horrible punishment or vengeful choice, it is what He sees as best, through the eyes of His grace. I am so thankful that I can know beyond all doubt that my God is sovereign and in control of this and every circumstance!
We will make the trek out to Mesquite today, about an hour's drive, to be with all of my mom's family for our annual "weekend before Christmas" lunch. I say "lunch" loosely, as it has been pushed back to 2:00 so that Blake can be there. Not a complaint, just a note. I get fairly uncomfortable in the car these days, but I am continuing to trust God for the "glory-strength" he keeps pouring out on me.
I am so, so thankful that He has changed my heart attitude. I can say that with confidence, because I know how stubborn and unwilling I was to change it myself. I pray that, as we count down the days to Christmas, and then to Allie's birth, that God will keep tight reigns on my emotions.
When I get to the end of this road, and look back at the past few weeks, I want to be able to say I walked in God's grace, by His grace, and because of His glory-strength through it all. All glory, all honor, all credit, and all praise to Him alone.