Volume 1: The Lizard
Lizard, gecko, whatever. They're all the same to me, and might as well all be komodo dragons.
So, one day last week, I was getting ready to go have lunch with some friends of mine from college. I was pretty proud of myself for being dressed and ready to go early, not to mention having Allie well-rested, fed, and dressed in plenty of time. I got my baby girl all snuggled into her car seat, fastened her in, and we headed for the garage to get in the car. As I lifted up her car seat to put it in the car, I looked down at her, and there was a LIZARD crawling up her arm. It stopped, as if it knew I was watching, when it reached the top of her shoulder. Trying not to completely lose my cool, I sat the car seat back down on the garage floor, and began rapidly unbuckling my baby. At this point, the lizard was scurrying across the back of her neck. I seriously get the "willies" just thinking about it. Yick! Luckily, Allie thought it was a silly game (probably because of the terrified, crazy faces I was making), and she just giggled and cooed at me repeatedly. Once I got her out, I dusted her off all over. I really wanted to strip her down to make sure that nasty reptile wasn't in her clothes, but I saw it jot over to one corner of her car seat. By this point (about 2 minutes post-Lizard-spotting), I took Allie back inside and put her in her high chair, because we were both starting to get a lovely feminine glow from the 100+ temperature outside.
|Allie Joy in her lizard-free car seat.|
Next, I did what any reptile/insect-hating wife would do: I called my husband. I'd carried the car seat inside, so that I could conquer the lizard without suffering from heat exhaustion, and I was depending on Adam to talk me through it. "Get the fly-swatter", he said. Fly swatters are, oh, about 16" long, I'd guess. Not enough distance between me and the lizard, for sure. Adam graciously listened to me whine in fear while I fly-swatted the lizard to death in Allie's car seat.
Okay, so now, what? "What do I do now? It's dead." I feared his answer, "Grab a paper towel and get him out of the car seat. Just throw it in the trash." What?!?! Seriously. No. I don't even want to do that with a roly-poly, let alone a lizard carcass. I tried desperately to scoop it up with the fly-swatter, to avoid the paper towel at all costs. It wasn't working. I was already going to be late for my lunch, and I certainly wasn't going to let my precious girl ride in her car seat atop this icky reptile. With my husband's encouragement, I used a huge wad of paper towels, and removed the lizard. GROSS.
I never knew motherhood would make me so brave.