A Day in the Life, Vol. 1

I've discovered that the life of a homemaker isn't necessarily for the faint of heart (or stomach, for that matter). I'm hoping to be diligent about jotting down some of the unexpected, laughable, and just plain crazy things that happen in the life of this grateful stay-at-home-mom.

Volume 1: The Lizard

Lizard, gecko, whatever. They're all the same to me, and might as well all be komodo dragons.

So, one day last week, I was getting ready to go have lunch with some friends of mine from college. I was pretty proud of myself for being dressed and ready to go early, not to mention having Allie well-rested, fed, and dressed in plenty of time. I got my baby girl all snuggled into her car seat, fastened her in, and we headed for the garage to get in the car. As I lifted up her car seat to put it in the car, I looked down at her, and there was a LIZARD crawling up her arm. It stopped, as if it knew I was watching, when it reached the top of her shoulder. Trying not to completely lose my cool, I sat the car seat back down on the garage floor, and began rapidly unbuckling my baby. At this point, the lizard was scurrying across the back of her neck. I seriously get the "willies" just thinking about it. Yick! Luckily, Allie thought it was a silly game (probably because of the terrified, crazy faces I was making), and she just giggled and cooed at me repeatedly. Once I got her out, I dusted her off all over. I really wanted to strip her down to make sure that nasty reptile wasn't in her clothes, but I saw it jot over to one corner of her car seat. By this point (about 2 minutes post-Lizard-spotting), I took Allie back inside and put her in her high chair, because we were both starting to get a lovely feminine glow from the 100+ temperature outside.

Allie Joy in her lizard-free car seat.

Next, I did what any reptile/insect-hating wife would do: I called my husband. I'd carried the car seat inside, so that I could conquer the lizard without suffering from heat exhaustion, and I was depending on Adam to talk me through it. "Get the fly-swatter", he said. Fly swatters are, oh, about 16" long, I'd guess. Not enough distance between me and the lizard, for sure. Adam graciously listened to me whine in fear while I fly-swatted the lizard to death in Allie's car seat.

Okay, so now, what? "What do I do now? It's dead." I feared his answer, "Grab a paper towel and get him out of the car seat. Just throw it in the trash." What?!?! Seriously. No. I don't even want to do that with a roly-poly, let alone a lizard carcass. I tried desperately to scoop it up with the fly-swatter, to avoid the paper towel at all costs. It wasn't working. I was already going to be late for my lunch, and I certainly wasn't going to let my precious girl ride in her car seat atop this icky reptile. With my husband's encouragement, I used a huge wad of paper towels, and removed the lizard. GROSS.

I never knew motherhood would make me so brave.