Tuesday, December 29, 2009


So, today is day zero....ish. We are scheduled to be at the hospital tonight around 8 to get things started. The past 24 hours have already been so emotional and full of anticipation, I can't imagine what the next 24 hours will be like! Just about every time I even think about Allie actually being here, I tear up. Adam is equally excited, and we are both showing a fair share of nerves, too. With neither of us ever having been admitted to a hospital before, it will be a whole round of new experiences. I am praying that my perspective will be that this will be an amazing adventure to go on together, and that I can remember that the way has already been prepared before us and paved with God's gracious hand. "He hems me in behind and before..." Psalm 139

It is so amazing to try and wrap my head around the incomprehensible fact that this wiggly baby girl inside me was the same little gummy bear we saw on the sonogram screen so many months ago. How anyone could see life come from nothing and not turn to God, I'll never understand. This pregnancy has been many things: exciting, fun, stressful, exhausting, emotionally draining, challenging, uncomfortable, amazing, joyful, annoying, unpredictable, and most of all, full of God's grace and faithfulness. We have learned so much over these past 40 weeks about ourselves, about one another, about little Allie, and about our good, good God.

I could not have made it through without the amazing help-mate God gave me in Adam. He has such a servant's heart, and has really put it to use in serving me in every way possible through the pregnancy. He has fluffed pillows, brought me countless bottles of water (since I am endlessly thirsty), listened to my daily complaints, patiently waited to feel the baby move, lifted laundry baskets when I couldn't, forced me to rest when I needed to, and a zillion more things I can't even think of. It has been eye-opening for me to see, even more, the ways God chose us for one another and fit us together perfectly. I am so thankful for my Godly husband and leader!

Yesterday, we learned that we had to stop saying "this is the last...", because I'd start to cry at every one. This morning is my last morning to sit alone at my computer, alone in this house, laundry running, music playing. This is the last day that I will sit and wonder when Allie might be here, what she will look like, whether she might have hair, what color her eyes will be. It is the end of 2 years and 9 months of our family of 2. I wanted to have a baby so much sooner, but I am so thankful now for all of that time I had with just Adam. God's timing truly is perfect, though we sometimes don't want to hear that.

In many more ways than they are a "last", these next hours and days will be full of firsts! First hospital visit, first baby, first grandbaby in my family, first great-grandchild on both sides. First time to see her, first time to hold her, feed her, bathe her. First time to be parents. First time to ring in the new year with an infant. First time to put her in a cute pink hair bow, first diaper changes, first time to be awakened in the middle of the night. With all of the things we leave behind in the previous chapter of our lives, we look so forward to all that God has planned for us in the next couple of days, and for our life with miss Allie Joy!


Amy G said...

Yay Tori! I am praying for everything to go smoothly tomorrow. It will be so hard to sleep tonight when they start the induction meds, you will be so excited! Just think, by this time tomorrow you might have a new baby girl in your arms. Congrat, I am so excited for you guys.

Hayley McCarthy said...

I loved the way you put this into words!

It made me tear up too. Can't wait to see that baby girl!!

Misty Marie said...

Congratulations Tori on the newest addition to your family!!! I can't believe she's finally here!

Krista Sanders said...

It's Thursday and I want to say congratulations!! We heard she is here safe and sound and FINALLY in your arms. We can't wait to meet her!